Am I satisfied with my lives?
Yes...
I am satisfied because I traveled around the world and saw lots of different things.
I am satisfied because I tried different things in my career and life.
I am satisfied because I left good memories to my family and didn't leave bad memories to friends. (It's not easy to know because I am not them.)
who will be in my funeral?
Family? Friends?
It is quite a shocking/disappointing question to me as I don't think there will be a lot.
For those who come, how are their connections with me?
I think for most people, they want to leave something to the world, to be their proof of living.
Say Steve Jobs, why did people feel sad for his death? Because we lost a genius? He could have greater contribution to the world if he is still alive?
Say if one of my friends passed away, I think for some who are not really closed, I will feel sad/shocked for a short period of time and then continue my usual life.
And maybe it's the same case to them if I die?
I think it's ok to have few people present in my funeral. I don't want them to feel sad because of some benefits I can offer to them, but just because I am important to them. (Maybe there is some of kind of contradiction.)
People need to find ways to define their meaning of life. For me, I think that would be through developing others in AIESEC. But after leaving AIESEC, I don't have chance to do so anymore.
And it turns to be through developing myself.
Combining the above 2 points, I don't want you to miss me because I can no longer help you, but because I am part of you and I can see myself in you. (高橋步：我不想輕輕觸動一萬個人的心靈， 只想用力刺進一個人的心裡。) I think/believe I did so in AIESEC but I have no idea how I am going to do it now. So let's continue work on by developing myself first.
What will people say in my funeral?
I hope they will talk about their memories with me so that I can live in their mind.
What kind of person I want to be?
A person who can always stay clam and think of solution when problem arises.
A person who is confident (of what she say, her action, decision, etc) and is not easily influenced by others' comment (critical thinking).
A person who can understand the perspectives of people from different background, able to put herself into their shoes and jump to conclusion easily.
How? By working, reading, thinking, writing, talking to people, reflecting.
So putting things together,
I am going to develop myself, especially in problem solving, critical thinking and understanding others. Through collecting experience and improving my abilities/competencies, I will know how I can leave my trace and impact to others.
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