每天聽到鬧鐘響，過不久就會聽到媽媽的腳步聲然後叫我起床，我在床上就會想起五月天的生存以上生活以下，連歌曲的前奏也特別清晰。其實仔細看歌詞會感到很可怕，害怕自己有朝一日就變成那樣。
其實錯的不是每天重覆做著的事，其實洗臉刷牙坐車打卡是正常不過的事，真正重要的是你有沒有活著的感覺。而真正使人困擾的是你處於中間，不是完全不覺得活著也不是每一分每一秒也活著，所以不知道怎麼辦。
從來別人只告訴你一些理所當然的道理，一些方向，但是要怎樣才可做到只有靠你自己。我都很清楚"do what you love, love what you do"，但就是做不到。
這個月的目標是努力工作。
這一兩個月做多了廣告設計的工作，但每次也是失敗，令人有點沮喪。
可能努力工作之後會看到不一樣的風景吧，但是那些工作也會令我有活著的感覺，因為我不覺得它們有意義。
洗臉、刷牙、趕公交車、打卡上班，每天都是重複進行這些例行公事。然而剝除了這些之後，你的生活究竟還剩下：蟲蟲、家人、朋友(雖然已經越來越少聯絡)、大白貓、日劇、LOST、旅行、學習、工作(？)

Having work there for nearly 9 months, I found the company failed in certain areas.
Although there were glorious history and great achievements, it couldn't move forwards with times. The world changes dramatically everyday and it lacks a responsive system to react. In many aspects such as the business model and IT, it still stays in the 90s.

It has come to a discussion about whether should we disclose the brand names of products we are distributing. Some says no as customers would try to find other suppliers that provide it in lower price. Turnout, we are just provide the new concepts to them but not getting any benefits. Some argue if we don't disclose the brand name (or change the name), how would suppliers think when they browse through our website? The discussion came to a deadlock and management will the final decision which others don't really agree.

Information is highly accessible, copycats are everywhere and there is no way you can avoid. I think the world is no longer compete on the products (whether exclusive or not) but services. It's no longer about your product price but the relationship built with customers (and other parties involved). We are in the world of social media that talks about engagement. Looking at the competition between Apple and Samsung, there are lots of people using Apple even though there is no great breakthrough in product attributes compared to Samsung. And then I know the importance of a brand.

When it comes to services, it's about your people. However, in a company that salary can't be paid on time, and even be delayed for nearly a month. What do you except the employees to contribute under this working environment? There is no clear communication between the management and employees and employees can't know what is going on and any solution to tackle to problems right but just guessing, leading to low employee morale.

It seems to me that the company is going into road with dead-end and they won't be able to survive unless they have dramatic changes.

Let's talk about the organizational structure. It's a highly inefficient and ineffective. Every work has to be approved by the top management and she becomes the bottleneck for everything to keep moving. For example, she has to read through every detail in the catalog and there will be lots of modifications before finalize; she even needs to hold of a meeting about email housekeeping. I doubt the responsiveness of the company under such structure and I think there should be someone in between to be responsible for parts of her works.

And the way of they manage information creates waste. I don't understand why they are still in the stage of using paper for everything and the filing for everything like paper for applying payment, annual leave, claim money, etc.

這兩個星期想得最多的是「什麼時候才轉工」？工作無聊時想一想，聽到同事說支付工資的事又想一想。之後的問題是究竟這間公司是不是那麼不濟？
今天那個做了連一個月都沒有的行政部經理就辭職了。我想加薪的機會應該很微了。如果這樣的話，那就按照原定計劃吧。雖然我一直都想快點把工作做完，然後就可以做新的東西了，但最後還是不行。
之前我覺得工作的種類很有限，像只是製作目錄、廣告設計、統籌展覽會，其實每次做也不一樣，只是我不太感興趣而已。
我也在想「究竟要做一些你擅長的事還是學習一些你不擅長的事？」。因為比起那些有天份的人，無論我怎麼努力做得沒他們那麼好吧？但是只做你擅長的事人生就太沉悶了。
上星期因為展覽會去了廣州，算是比較新鮮吧，和麥生的接觸多了。但是到第三天已經覺得有點悶，因為我在那裡並沒有特別的事做。早知道那時就努力點去拿細胞治療的資料。見了之前一直用電郵、QQ和電話聯絡的廣州同事，她比我想像的不太一樣，覺得她好像因為自己負責業務，自我感覺太良好。想不到和內地同事說什麼，她們常常說的美容打扮我又不懂。