People say “You need to find a goal first
before starting. You have to know your objectives and what do you want to
achieve there”, and I have been trying very hard to do that every time but
failed.
Probably it’s true but it doesn’t work for
me. I don’t have the roadmap in my mind that in order to be X, I have do A by
what time and B by what time. How do you want to turn to be? I can’t get the
answer from inside. I can’t get the answer by having reflection.
In all these years, I was made to believe
that it is a shame for me that I don’t know where I want to be in 5 years, what
is my career path, etc. Finally, I realized that I can only figure out the
answer along the way. Ok, I don’t want to this, I am ok with this and so on.
To be frank, I still don’t know where I
want to be in 5 year and what my career path is after graduating for nearly 5
years.
“It doesn’t work for me” is such as
powerful sentence that I can free myself from the boundaries. It frees me from
the thought that if I don’t continue my work in marketing field, my experience
all these years will be wasted. But I can say, “I tried but it doesn’t work for
me and I don’t like it”.
I don’t have a concrete answer in my mind
that what is the job I am looking for, I can only try and error, I can only
decide by researching what are the jobs available, I can only broaden my world
and get more information.
“Why do you want to work here?” In terms of
skills, I haven’t developed much there. I don’t maintain good relationship with
colleagues. I found it very difficult and frustrating to get involve in their
circle. I don’t like some of the people there. But without the experience, I
can’t come up with the realization.
I want to escape from the maze but I need
to find the beauty of the maze and the journey here. The journey continues,
searching, exploring, losting and going.
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